


Definition of Akward

by WaltzQueen



Series: Good times with Hellfire [14]
Category: Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee (Comics), VASQUEZ Jhonen - Works
Genre: M/M, akward family meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 07:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7499340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaltzQueen/pseuds/WaltzQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is notwhat Todd or Pepito had planned.<br/>Gift for reraimu! Congrats on custody!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Definition of Akward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reraimu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reraimu/gifts).



> found this in my documents folder. decided to throw it out there. enjoy

Todd Diablo has heard people scream out JESUS CHRIST many, many, many times over the years. It had rang out into the night in the voices of those that would never see the light of day again as he shivered in fear of the Scary Neighbor Man and his grisly past -times. It was thrown at him in revulsion in grade school. His classmates had found almost endless ways to be revolted by his mere presence and found joy in showing it to him. High school brought it to his ears in whispers as those around him watched him pass by. They showed more fear of him than they did of Jeff Whitehall when he brought a gun to school and mowed down the entire chess club “because they were losers and no one cared." Occasionally, Pepito would lose track of time working or get distracted by some niggling problem that simply would not go away and Todd would venture into the Basement in search of his husband. He found those words there, too. The residents of Hell never seemed to notice him, but that was just fine with him. Todd didn't need or want to be involved in their screaming about burritos and swinging teenagers by their legs like reverse piñatas. For all of his experience with those words there are some important things to understand about them.

  
Firstly, "Jesus Christ", is mostly used as an exclamation, especially when screamed. It generally had a follow up sentence, but could stand on its own. Often it was little more than a sound of surprise that just happened to be sounds that had a meaning when smooshed together. The least religious said it the most, which really amused Pepito. However, the devout also picked up their fair of the usage.

  
Secondly, Jesus Christ as an exclamation, while pervasive, was never used in their house. Rosemarie (Just-call-me-Mother) Diablo occasionally said the name as a name and never as an exclamation. It typically turned up in prayers or in the bible study group she hosted. As rare as it was in her house it at least was used there. Pepito and Todd Diablo had no use for it in their home. Pepito was the Antichrist, the very opposite of the Son of God and was very happy that way, thank you very much. Todd had heard about God very briefly as a child and hadn't given him much thought until Pepito showed up, dragging mythology and a legacy behind him. After that any thought to call God or Jesus faded away as quickly as it had come. Why focus on the distant, unseeable Jesus, when the Antichrist was physically in your face and asking if you wanted to play the Vampire Piggy Hunter Collector's Edition?

  
Thirdly, Jesus Christ as a concept, an idea of a person, was perfectly acceptable to just throw around. Jesus Christ as the actual name of an actual person was far less so.  
These reasons and more made it very startling for Todd and Pepito's twice a year walk to the grocery store to be interrupted by Pepito suddenly snarling out "Jesus Christ!"  
Things only got more upsetting for Todd as a very recognizable, literal Jesus Christ, seeminlgy drawn but the utterance of His name, walked over with a cantaloupe in one arm and a reusable grocery bag stuffed full of granola in the other. Todd Diablo watched in confused silence as Pepito greeted Jesus with a menacing growl.

  
"Mi Amor, this is my cousin, Jesus Christ."

  
Ah, well. At least it won't be the worst introduction he's ever had to go through.


End file.
